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I grew up on a small corn & soybean farm in America’s heartland just west of Iowa City, Iowa. Endless fields of grain, unlimited expanses of sky and people who lived close to the rhythms of the earth. Life moved at a slower pace. In fact, we lived right down the road from the largest Amish settlement west of the Mississippi in Kalona, Iowa.
I was raised in the same century old farmhouse where my father Larry was born and raised. He had five siblings and most lived nearby. His roots were strong and deep and I grew up with a continuity that is hard to imagine in this highly mobile world of ours. My father worked the farm with the occasional help of my Uncle Don, who lived right up the way with my Grandma. My brother Danny also helped out. My two uncles Mike and Robert ran farms of their own, and my Aunt Catherine worked for Collins Radio in Cedar Rapids.
My Uncle Al, self-proclaimed handyman and jack-of-all-trades was the wild one of the bunch, at least that’s what he would have us believe. Holidays were a carousel of visits to relatives. Missing one was not an option - bad weather was the only accepted excuse! Everyone would be there - aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers sisters and grandparents. Each holiday was pretty much like the one before: the grand arrival, the adults sitting in one room to talk, the kids going every which way, the meal and then the endless goodbyes. At dinner time, we would always find a quiet place to eat.
I wish I got a nickel every time I heard the story about how my Dad and his siblings rode a donkey to school, or about Uncle Al’s escapades. My family was like yours. The same stories get passed around all the time as if that will reaffirm somehow who we are. Back then I would get so bored hearing the same things over and over again. I can remember thinking: “How can they tell that boring story every time we get together?” Now, as with so many of the events back then, I understand. Now that Grandma Donovan, Uncle Mike, Al and Robert are gone - May God Rest Their Souls - and Uncle Don is in a home and the farm sold, I would give anything to see everyone and hear just one of their stories one more time.
On my mother’s side of the family, my Grandma Danner had a big impact on all of us. She was always there for us and I cannot remember her ever sitting down! She’d either be outside weeding the garden, gathering blackberries to make the best pie you ever tasted or cooking up a storm. She made the best roast beef and gravy! “Family values” were not just a slogan to her. She devoted herself to family often driving four hours or more to make a birthday, a graduation, a party or any get together. Someone once said that 90% of life is just showing up. Well, Grandma Donovan did a lot more than just show up!
Pie making is a lost art. I can remember the smells and the warmth that Grandma spread throughout the house simply by making a pie. Too often, we forget those simple things that make life simple and sweet.
As if she didn’t do enough, Grandma also was a school teacher. She was always armed with her flash cards to keep my brother and me on our toes. She truly loved to teach and loved going to church. I never understood why church meant so much to her and why faith was such an important part of life. I do now. I guess you have to know about how she put her faith in action, like how she paid for her own college education - which was almost unheard of back then - and later, paid for her sister to attend college as well. Grandma Danner had four children: namely, my mom Judy, Aunt Jane, Uncle Jimmy and a fourth child who died as an infant. It was a hard life and she didn’t have a lot of help but she was always there for them. Uncle Jimmy was born prematurely and is deaf. Grandma Danner spent her entire life watching over and caring for him, making sure he was all right. In her early teens, my mother also lost most of hearing. I remember how funny Grandma was, always making some sort of joke just to get a smile. That is faith in action and God Bless her. I learned more from her simple dignity than you could know. I miss her a lot and still find myself forgetting that she is gone, as I walk to the phone to dial her number.
Despite all that I had around me, I had a tough time growing up on the farm. There is a downside to routine and familiarity. I felt isolated and alone most of the time. Even though I had Danny to play with, I was terribly lonely. As Danny got older, he spent most of his time outdoors, hunting, trapping, fishing - doing boy things. Mom and I were together a lot but I was yearning for more.
Mom gave me every opportunity she could and always encouraged me that I could do anything if I just put my mind to it. She would always go overboard for birthday parties, inviting neighbors far and wide,spending weeks and weeks talking about what we would do, how to decorate and what to make so that every event was extra special. She took every opportunity to try and teach me something. She is still that way. Idon’t think there is a single person who has met her and didn’t love her. It isn’t just what she did. It was who she is as a person. It is her inner light. She is outgoing and sweet to everyone, whether she knows them or not. She continues to live the Golden Rule with a smile on her face. Although we didn’t have a lot of money, we had enough. We learned from her at an early age what was real and what was important. It was love and not money.
She was my best friend growing up and even though there are a lot of miles between us today, she is still my best friend. I hope my children feel the same way about me when they get older.It may come as a surprise to people, but even in the 21st century, second and third generation farm families feel as isolated and insecure and fearful about the future as ever in the long, proud and vital history of the American farmer. The American family farmer is the lifeblood and heart of this country. To do anything less than give family farmers our full respect and support is as destructive to this country as anything.
As the child of a family farmer, the weight and pain of this insecurity was almost unbearable. Especially for a girl. It wasn’t just the long hours and hard work. It was the lack of choices and opportunity and hope that I felt at one time. A boy’s choices were simple, more respected and accepted: to take over Dad’s farm, go into the military or put your mechanical skills to work in construction. Girls had far fewer choices. We were pretty much limited to marrying a local farmer or maybe working as a check-out girl at the supermarket. Your value depended on someone else.
In addition to the lack of real choice, my brother and I felt like second class citizens. When we would ride the bus to school, we were known as the “farm kids going to school with the “city kids.” As if they were better than us. My father worked as hard, if not harder, than any “city kid’s” parents and it hurt to be looked down upon in such a way. When I reached my teens, I decided that I would not accept this and it would stop. I was not a second-class citizen and I would not be treated as such. My mailbox was my window to the world and I ordered every catalog and magazine I could possibly find (and afford!) until I developed a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t want to be limited by the choices given to me. By the age of 15, I had decided that with inner fire, my smile and clear vision I would realize my ultimate goal - Modeling.
I took that spark and followed with action by competing in gymnastics, track and cheerleading throughout junior and senior high school. When I felt ready, I began modeling in my senior year. I fell in love with it from the very beginning, as I knew I would and began to realize my dream of someday making the cover of a magazine. After high school graduation, I moved to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to attend Patricia Steven's Fashion/Modeling School. I continued to model throughout school, tried my luck at retail and competed in bikini contests (for a little exposure!)
My childhood struggle with self-esteem was fading with my new commitment to fashion and fitness. My physical appearance was transforming in front of me and I was aware of the changes that were happening in my life. I felt tremendous mental discipline grow from my commitment and vision. With this new awareness and the fact that I was so open to it, I was changing my life. I challenged myself to stop smoking - and did. I challenged myself to change my diet - and did. I challenged myself to start exercising on a regular and consistent basis - and did. I challenged myself to stop abusing my body with toxic things - and did. I challenged myself to become more focused and aware of my body and how it responded to the life I was beginning to lead and it was just fascinating. I loved the experience so much that I wanted to not only share my experiences with others, but teach them what I had learned myself - use my life experience to help them find their own spark. But I felt I needed to prove myself even more.
In 1995, I won the title “Mrs. New York, International” This accomplishment gave me an even broader platform to spread my message about the importance of fitness and commitment to personal development. Now, I wanted to take my commitment to fitness one step further. Kick it up a notch as Emeril would say. The contest was the motivation I needed, in part because I realized that being over 30 years old was not something to be feared or avoided, but embraced. Even though the first 30 years of my life were fun,,,the rest of my life, after age 30, were going to be nothing but the best. I would not only conquer my own dreams, but share with others how they too, could do the same. I then became certified as a personal trainer by the International Sports Sciences Association. It was an intense process, made even more challenging by the fact that I was raising three children at the time. I began to concentrate on fitness modeling - combining my two passions. I knew this new journey would challenge me even more than anything I had ever done - but I was ready. After years of embracing challenging exercise routines, strength training, diet and life style choices, I would have to alter it all and infuse every aspect of my life with new energy and perspective. Though I don’t limit myself to fitness work exclusively, it’s my true love.
Awards and recognition are opportunities to me to show others exactly why I am so committed to going to the gym every day. I am proud of what I have done, but energized even more by what I can do for others. For I still have within me the lessons my family taught me and lived. They are signposts for my own journey. For the first time in my life, I can say that I am proud of where I am from, and proud of what I’ve become. I charted my own course and always mindful of where I came from, but unafraid of where only I could go. I once dreamed of someday making a career as a model.
Through the work that I have done, and the experiences I share with you in this website, I have been on the covers of scores of magazines as well as doing over 200 layouts in magazines all over the world. I have met some incredible people along the way, as you can see in some of the rooms of the site. I feel blessed and fortunate every day to be able to do what I enjoy, encourage others to follow their dreams and share what I have learned along the way.
Dear Mom, Dad and Danny,
“Thank you” for all that you’ve done through the years. You’ve stuck by me through thick and thin and without all three of you, I wouldn’t have made it. I appreciate you, love you, respect you and look up to you!
To my 3 little munchkins~who are ALL taller than me now! Danny, Nicky, and Jessica~I love you more than anything in the whole wide world! You guys have given Dad and I more happiness than you will ever know! We are so proud of each one of you and look so forward to each and every day with you! It's amazing how fast you are growing up each and every day, but no matter how old, or big you get,,,,you will always be my little hunnies.......Big THANK YOU'S go out to you guys too for allowing me to live my dream....For understanding, and supporting me with my decision to Go For It~~~I will be there for you too~~~ no matter what paths you decide to take in your life!!!!! Three kisses and squeezes to each one of you!!! I Love you, Love you, Love you!!!
How do I thank my best friend? John, That’s you. No one has encouraged or supported me more than you. You bring me back to reality when I need it and without your words of wisdom I could not have accomplished all that I have in the past years. You’ve played the part of “Mr. Mom”, manager, psychologist, and everything else needed for a perfect marriage. As a little girl, along with my dream of modeling, I also dreamt of meeting the man of my dreams one day, a night in shining armor. That is you! I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend the rest of my life with!
"I love and thank all of you from the bottom of my heart"
DeeAnn
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